tunnel rat posted on April 21, 2010 23:20
INT. LAZLO'S APARTMENT - DAY 

               Rudy's spirits are low as he eats cereal at the table.  His
               cell phone RINGS so he quickly answers it.

                                   RUDY
                         Rudy here.

                                   NARVIN ASHLEY (OVER PHONE)
                         What's your major malfunction?  You
                         use the good name of Ashely
                         Associates to go on seven fuckin'
                         interviews, and what the fuck do
                         you have to show for it?!

               Rudy doesn't know what to say.

                                   NARVIN ASHLEY (OVER PHONE)
                         I thought you got your knee blown
                         off, not your fuckin' balls!

                                   RUDY
                         I'm sorry, Mr. Ashley.

                                   NARVIN ASHLEY (OVER PHONE)
                         Yeah, well I'm sorry they only
                         offered you $95,000!
                             (beat)
                         But that'll be at least six figures
                         after I'm done choppin' wood.

                                   RUDY
                         Excuse me?

                                   NARVIN ASHLEY (OVER PHONE)
                         Congratu-fuckin-lations!  You start
                         tomorrow morning at 9 AM.  Be on
                         time, Devil Dog!

               The phone line GOES DEAD.  Rudy sits there, giddy.

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