Tunnel Rat posted on March 17, 2009 00:11

I got this text from my DBA buddy today:

Him: I was replaced by 3 offshore
Me: ???
Him: Laid off at [Big Ass Apparel Company]
Me: Your joking. Call me
Stan: It's over
Me: Time for a big st. Patty's drink or two

He never called back.

I was worried about him. Like me, he has a house and a rental property and serious mortgage payments. He has been tapping his 401K to make the nut.

I didn't want him to turn into another Kevin Flanagan.

I got hold of him tonight, and he gave me the scoop.

The company he was consulting for had a major Oracle Retail upgrade going on. They brought on Patni, a slumdog consulting outfit to do the conversion offshore. My boy was hired to fill in for the onshore work. Patni had three slumdogs onsite, who of course did not know shit. My DBA friend sat on his hands a lot.

Somehow, this conversion gets FOUR weeks behind schedule. Maybe, just maybe, dealing with a crew offshore has some serious transaction costs. Ever think about that, you cheap I.T. bastard, Mr. Slumdog Collaborator, V.P of Fucking Every American Out of Job, Chief Desi Dicksucker?

Probably not.

So, as usual, like what happened at the Curry Den, Patni decides to parachute in FOUR FUCKIN' SLUMDOG DBAs to move the project along. That way they can work 'round the clock, since now everybody on the team speaks Hindi. Except for my DBA friend, that is.

So the CIO shitcanned him; he said it had nothing to do with his performance, they just needed some, uh, people, uh, that could speak Hindi.

All of this is illegal, BTW. Legally, you have to make an effort to hire local talent before your bring in your, uh, top-guns, uh, make that CURRY EATING WAGE PIRATES, to do a job in I.T.

And that never happened.

So I'm personally going to fill out the WH-4 for my bro', have him sign it, and we'll have another U.S. company undergoing a cavity search at the hands of the DOL.

And when things cool down, and my friend is forgotten, the CIO of that Big Ass Apparel Company will have his picture on my sister site, H1BPimps.com (his profile is on LinkedIn). That mofo has some 'xplainin' to do, once the insurgency gets hold of his email and phone number.

That collaborator will have to join the witness protection program after we get through with him.

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