There's an intriguing article in Wall Street Journal about Desi I.T. consulting firms trying to recruit Americans.

People, hide your children.

"To prepare for any restrictions on new visas, Wipro, India's third largest software exporter by sales, has been in talks with universities in the Atlanta area, where it has an office. The company will start a pilot program at Kennesaw State University this year and plans to hire 500 students in its first two years. It's the first time the Bangalore-based company will recruit at an American campus, says Mr. Kumar."

Don't get to excited, grads. Working at a Desi consulting company is not all that is cracked up to be, for the following reasons:

1. If you are female, get used to doing QA or admin. They will never let you near the code. Cultural issues, and all.

2. Get used to signing in and out. Indians run their I.T. departments like penal colonies. Trust me, I am a refugee from one.

3. Forget about surfing the web at work -- Indians shops don't allow it. At the Curry Den, I was working with a slumdog to set up my development system, and he was terrified to get on the net, even to download Adobe Acrobat. I waited until he was gone and got what I needed, but to be afraid to get even get work-related stuff online is just plain creepy.

4. Like listening to music while you code? Forget it -- you will get the stink eye from your Sikh Project Manager if he sees you wearing headphones (Sikhs are bigshots in the Desi world). I actually had to ask my Desi lead at the Curry Den if it was okay to wear headphones, and he reluctantly said that he didn't have a problem. The next day, ALL the slumdogs had brought in headphones, and they treated me like a god -- I felt like Jack Nicholson's McMurphy character from "One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest."

5. Expecting to play volleyball or team sports on your lunch break? Not going to happen -- all you are allowed to do is go outside and smoke, and call home, like most if the slumdog "debelopers" do. And slumdogs have no money, cars, or girlfriends, so all they do is go back to their extended stay motels and eat their communal curry lunches and nap. Nice job, corporate I.T. execs -- you have imported a bunch of horny, desperate young males to do coding, and they behave like Nazis in Paris, except that they can't get laid.

6. Like a quiet peaceful environment to work in? Guess again. Indians had to fight over computers back home and are used to working three or four to a machine. Expect to hear them bickering in broken English, or probably Hindi, all day long.

7. Do you have good communication skills? It doesn't matter, because you will be bombarded all day by emails from your team members that look like they were sent as text messages from a cell phone. Expect a lot of "u r dis" and "i no do dat"

Other than those few minor issues, you can expect a great experience working at one the Indian companies for the likes of Mr. Kumar

BTW, I am refusing to renew my WSJ subscription. After 15 years, I am done. It started going downhill after Murdoch took it over, but it still is the paper of record for capitalists like myself. But it's pro-H[indu]-1B stance has disgusted me, and its editorial page is not what it used to be. Finally, it's eat-our-young capitalist agenda is disgusting me. I wish every fuckin' reporter at WSJ could be tapped on the shoulder and told this:

"This is Raj, your replacement. Train him and then pack your shit. And don't bitch -- there are millions more like him."


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The thoughts expressed on this blog may or may not be the author's own and are protected by the 1st Amendment. Any attempt to reveal his identity by contacting a slumdog hack at Google, or a corrupt Desi sys-admin at his ISP will be dealt with promptly and severely. Civil and criminal penalties may apply if one is found to have used private information in an attempt to get the author fired at the Hindu-only I.T. ghetto he currently works at. In addition, any Desi who attempts to burn the author's house down because they are enraged over his writing will be prosecuted to the fullest extent of the law. This isn't India.

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