Man, I thought for sure I wasn't going to blog tonight, but here am again.

I was so tired after another day as a galley slave in the curry-den, that I crashed after three beers and reading a chapter about Microsoft in Love the Work, Hate the Job.

Microsoft is now the biggest john of the Desi-pimps. Do a Dice.com search in Seattle and you'll see tons of jobs posted by H-1B shops for work in Redmond.

Not that they'll ever hire your cracker ass, but like the great Lawrence M. Lebowitz once said "Our goal is clearly NOT to find a qualified U.S. worker ...". Yeah, that was the same Lebowitz that said ""If someone looks like they are very qualified, if necessary schedule an interview, go through the whole process to find a legal basis to disqualify them."

Most of the curry-scented pod people hate Jews, but they love Mr. Libowitz.

For you coders out there, this is what a typical day looks like in the curry-den:



CEWPs bring the concept of "pair-programming" to a whole new level. All day long, they huddle around a computer, a half-dozen or so, and try to teach each other to code. Five dictate and one types.

That's how they roll.

I am finding out that I don't really have to bust my ass trying to finish coding some class library or custom user control, because within a few hours, one of the CEWPs will come over and tell me to change it. For example, I had to write a file upload custom control today. So the architect tells me to copy and paste some code that one of the slumdogs wrote and use it as the basis for the control.

Well, they are already using a third-party Ajax control with an uploader. And it has a native method to save the file, obviously named something like "SaveAs" and easily implemented.

What did I see in slumdog's code, but ten lines of code to stream a file to the hard drive. WTF?

So I showed the architect and said "Check this out -- all this code, but there is already a method to do this."

At first he was sceptical, so he had me run the code both ways. Same result. File saved. He called the slumdog over and mumbled something in Hindi, pointing at my screen. The "debeloper" shrugged.

That's how they roll.

Brute force coding. Joel Splosky, creator of Excel and a famous coding guru, wrote that he is always looking for coders who are smart and can get things done. BTW, Splosky is a former Israeli paratrooper, so the Desis HATE him.

CEWPs are either smart or they get things done. In the curry den, the architect is smart, and the slumdogs get things done. But you will rarely see one that is both.

I myself am a typical lazy American programmer (as the Desis like say in cyberspace) and I will spend 30 minutes investigating the specs of a third party control or the existing codebase to find the code that will solve my problem. By no means will I sit there and write ten lines of worthless, unreusable crap just to get things done. And I will spell "Transaction" correctly, and comment my code. And format it. But that's just me.

Napoleon said he wanted officers that were smart and lazy -- people like TunnelRat.

Meanwhile the project is still slipping, and the new contractor and I are starting to grasp the reality that the Desis don't know what is going on. The two leads are working till midnight everyday, trying to stabilize the framework. Meanwhile the slumdogs are cranking out stubs of code and UIs that have to be rewritten almost immediately by either myself or my Chinese contractor buddy KCC.

That's how they roll.

Although I am surving another week in the curry-den, for some reason, here I am, blogging in the middle of the night. I woke up wide awake, not even close to dawn. So I go downstairs, smoke a Macanudo, drink a couple of beers, and rant.

In the meantime, 25 million Desis are waging a man-hunt in cyberspace, trying to hunt down the cracker that has infiltrated one of their Hundu I.T. ghettos. It is like a giant game of "Where's Waldo?"

I am sure they are sifting through my posts and flames and trying to put the pieces together so that they can out me at CLS. They are probably contacting fellow slumdogs at Google, the U.S. government, and State Farm (no word back from them), hoping to put a name to the blogger that has so inflamed them. Just so they can get me fired, or worse, burn my house down.

That's how they roll.

To be continued...


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The thoughts expressed on this blog may or may not be the author's own and are protected by the 1st Amendment. Any attempt to reveal his identity by contacting a slumdog hack at Google, or a corrupt Desi sys-admin at his ISP will be dealt with promptly and severely. Civil and criminal penalties may apply if one is found to have used private information in an attempt to get the author fired at the Hindu-only I.T. ghetto he currently works at. In addition, any Desi who attempts to burn the author's house down because they are enraged over his writing will be prosecuted to the fullest extent of the law. This isn't India.

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