Finally, a web site that sums up all the tricks that you need to know about displacing an American techie!  Although you may end up with a hollow point in your brown, curry-scented forehead, getting H-1B visa is worth it.  Hell, no risk, no reward:

Tip 2 - Dress to Impress (so that we can't easily identify you when we techies start aiming for the red dots)

The majority of H1B staff augmentation workers dress poorly. They have belts that are way too big that almost loop around their waste almost two times. They come in wearing clothes that are not pressed and look like flashbacks from the 1980s. In addition they typically have no color coordination. Be sure to be color coordinated. Dress Tips:

• Don't wear the belt that is 18 inches too big for you and wraps around your body two times.
• Don't wear white sport socks with business casual clothes. Make sure your socks match your outfit.
• Throw away your 1980 clothes and wear up to date business clothes.
• Don't wear cheap shoes that don't match your slacks. If you got the shoes for 80% off, there is reason for it. They are ugly.
• Do press your clothes by a professional dry cleaner. When you do it, yourself it looks like crap. Go to the dry cleaners!
• Don't wear the same pants or shirts on consecutive days. At least wait a day before wearing the same clothing item again.

Tip 3 - Status Your Boss Frequently (suck your boss's dick--it is the only sex you will get in the US)

Communicate to your boss on a frequent basis the status of what you are doing and what you have done. Don't' wait for your boss to ask for a status, proactively give your boss periodic status reports. This will really impress your boss!

Tip 5 - Go for the Job Regardless of the Required Skills (yeah, like no shit, lie on the fuckin' CV like your life depends on it, which it does, scab)

If you like the job description go for it regardless if you have the technical skills or not. Most likely you will get a functional manager who conducts the interview and manages you. You will be able to easily fool the functional manager in to thinking that you are an expert in the required skill set. Then after getting on the job and making friends with other contractors on the job, you will be able to quickly pick up the skill set on the job without the boss ever knowing that you did not have a clue about the given technology. Therefore if you like the job or the location of the job go for it. If you get fired, not a big deal. There are thousands of H1B contractor positions across the United States. You are not tied down to any geographical location, so you have thousands of jobs at your finger tips.

Tip 8 - Originals of your Academic qualifications (don't let the Goras know that you got your degree from a Mumbai diploma mill)

Copy of certificates related to academic and job experience are enough to process your H1-B visa. Just to hold you till your H1-B processing is over, some employers may ask for originals. Don’t give it to them. Getting back the original certificates could be cumbersome process in case you decided not to join the company.

Tip 16 - Communication Skills are Number 1 (stop fuckin' send emails with phrases like "u r my one number customer")

The clients will base 70% of their decision making based on your communication skills. If you are able to effectively communicate with the client, you have a good chance of landing the job. Try to listen very attentively, since clients hate it when you say "Can you repeat the question?". If you are asking to the client to repeat the question on multiple occasions you are greatly reducing your chances of getting the job. You can fool them on your technical skill set, but you cannot hide poor English communication skills.

I was going over my blog referrers and I found this nugget from about a year ago:

Life in America - Indian Software Engineer Visits USA

This guy seems like a nice Indian.  For one, he can write English above a 3rd grade level.  One of the reasons we Americans hate slumdogs is that their communication skills absolutely suck, and they don't seem to be trying to improve them.  They refuse to use punctuation, and even verbally they speak too fast for their meager capabilities.

Secondly, this guy came for two years, worked, and got the fuck out of America.  I think that was the goal of the H-1B program -- to fill short term labor shortages in skilled sectors.  As opposed to showing up in the USA after a 3-week crash course in programming, doing 6-months of "knowledge transfer" from an American, getting a collaborator American I.T. manager to purge all the locals, and then spending their work days flooding the boards of Dice.com, Immigration Voice, and trackitt, bitching about how you can't get a green card, boasting in Hinglish about how great Indians are and how dumb Americans are, and sending death threats to American citizens. 

This guy makes some good points, stuff that I have been talking about for quite awhile:

3.Desi's hate Desi's: Do you believe this !!
Contrary to my initial belief, I was surprised to find this out that unknown Indians do not like each other too much, I had actually thought that Indian people would like each other more in a foreign country. Let me clarify, people who you know well are not jealous of you, you still share a good relationship with them, but if you go in shopping malls, library or grocery stores, there will be Caucasians (white or gora people) who will say "Hi!" to you, but when you cross an unknown desi, they will 99% times ignore you. They will not mind to say "Hi!" to other white guys but just not Indians (Why ??). Indian software Engineers hate working under Indian Managers because most Indian managers try to assign more work to their Indian counterparts then others. When interviewing a candidate for a job, Indians will ask the most difficult questions to fellow desi's than they would ask to people from other communities. the only time I had a more friendlier experience was when I went to an Indian community mela / function.

Actually, I think Indians first instinct is to hate anyone that is not in their immediate family, and then anyone that is not in their caste, and then anyone who is not in the same tribe.  Pretty good at hating, those Indians.

6. Racism.. Not Much:
Racism in America is quite low especially when compared to UK, there are people who you may find a bit racist but their percentage is quite low. They certainly do not like the idea of people on H1 and L1 visa's as most consider that those visa's are taking their jobs away. Similarly, American's are also not too happy when they are transferred to Call Centers in India because many representatives have a strong Indian accent.

Hating slumdogs is not racist -- it is an American obligation and demonstrates patriotism, good business sense, and is an appropriate career move, in light of the current invasion we are facing.

8. Exaggerated Resume:
Many software engineers who were especially working for Desi consulting companies and were new to US, are often told to exaggerate things in their resume. Some go even to an extent of showing false US work experience, but this practice seems to be slowing down a lot.

NO SHIT, SHERLOCK

10. American workers value life outside work:
It was not uncommon for an American colleagues to take a day off because they had to take their dog for a medical checkup or is their child had a soccer match. If an American person is told to work on a weekend, he does not appreciate it very much. Most people are quite sincere during their 8 hours of work.

It is tragic that we have to make this clear to our collaborator I.T. execs and the Indian invaders.  But this is a good point to make in the online forums -- working with Indians sucks because they have nothing else to do.  They live out of a suitcase in a motel, for Christ's sake.  What else are they going to do except work?  And then when you head home after a 10 hour day, they are still there, working, and the collaborator cunt project manager that hired the slumdogs gives you the stink-eye.  WTF?

12. Lonely Desi Bachelors:
It is not easy to make a white American girl friend and there is a great scarcity of desi bachelor girls. You can have a better flirt/love life in India than in United States. I did go to some disc clubs many times but was no match in front of tall and muscular American males. Although some lucky desi's are successful in making Indian or American girl friends. Some Indian guys go to strip clubs to see topless women dancing on poles and very few go after illegal prostitutes.

Yup, they are pretty much like Nazis in Paris.  Bored, lonely, horny, reading Mein Kampf, and trying to seduce American teenage girls online.  Thanks for flooding the country with predators, Mr./Ms. H-1B pimp.

I actually posted this a while back, but it is so much more appropriate now.  I have been spending the last few weeks porting my blog off of Blogger.  All because a pack of rabid, feral guest workers have invaded the American I.T. industry and companies like Google.  It sucks, but a patriot has to do what he has to do to fight the Indu-Invasion.  There fuckers have the nerve to come to my country, and without even a green card, harass me by hacking my blog, attempt to invade my privacy, and put my career and life in jeopardy.  I hope they all they get killed by a lunatic techie.

"My Internet provider is having problems tonight, and I can't get to most sites. Being the target of outrage that I am, of course I suspect foul play. The H[indu]-1B lobby will stop at nothing to continue their scam, including cybercrime.

But before my web surfing slowed to a crawl, this article in the New York Times by Clyde Haberman by did catch my eye:

The Right to Offend Is Sacred

Here's an excerpt:

"“One of the prerogatives of American citizenship is the right to criticize public men and measures — and that means not only informed and responsible criticism but the freedom to speak foolishly and without moderation.” It is an American right, Frankfurter went on, to express “silly or even sinister-sounding views.”

Now go do some reading, slumdogs. You have a long flight home, so I am going to suggest some good books:

Atlas Shrugged

1984

Untouchables: My Family's Triumphant Journey Out of the Caste System in Modern India"

The first real Curry Den I worked at was a giant food conglomerate where I contracted for eight months. It was in the last recession, and contract development work was scarce.

For the first month, I sat in a training room, without my own computer. I used one of the lab machines. The company was in the middle of a massive SAP migration, and I was hired to do some work related to data exports and imports from the DB2 system to Oracle.

The project was a clusterfuck, and I had little to do. I was chomping at the bit to get some .NET experience, but I was going to have to write some VB6 code for this project. The project manager was a diminutive DESI DOUCHEBAG named Jeet.

Finally, the company got it's shit together and moved my team out of the lab and upstairs to a mostly empty 2nd floor. It was four of us, and we shared the floor with a pack of Indians that were working on the SAP project.

Ironically, two of the ladies on my team had recently left a company that I contracted at for almost two years. One was a nice Russian programmer, and the other was an Indian. What was odd was that the Indian lady worked on HP systems at the old place, so I couldn't figure out what she was doing on a VB project.

It didn't take long for me to figure that the DESI BITCH couldn't code to save her life. After some snooping, I found out the reason that she was on my project.

The head of application development was a another DESI. Her husband.

After fumbling for a few weeks, Jeet figured out that the DESI BITCH could not code, so he made her a system analyst. She would sit in a room with the other analysts as they tried to figure out how to implement the data exchange between the legacy systems and the new ones.

This went on for months. In the meantime, I had nothing to do. I would sit at my desk, trying to look like I was coding. I couldn't surf the net blatantly, because the DESI DOUCHEBAG, Jeet, had a habit of sneeking up to the second floor to spy on us.

The slumdogs working on the SAP project sat on the other side of the floor, and they were all in their twenties. They spent their days yapping in Hindi and making their stinky communal lunches.

The project dragged on, and the CIO eventually got fired because the project was a year and a half behind.

Eventually, I started to get dragged into these meeting with the analysts, including the DESI BITCH. She would demand all this "documentation" for an application that didn't exist, because it was solely reliant on the SAP project, which was going nowhere.

One day I got tired of her shit, and in so many words, told the DESI BITCH to SHUT THE FUCK UP.

So the next day, here comes Jett, the DESI DOUCHEBAG, and he tries to "counsel" me. I ignored him, and wrote a two page email to the honkey project manager that had hired me, giving him my side of the story. I was not about to let two DESI scumbags railroad me to make way for another fucking Indian programmer.

My honkey boss, a "consultant" that had worked his way into the upper echelons of the giant food conglomerate and was making 40% of my billable hours, managed to work a deal where I would be transferred to another department.

I ended up moving back downstairs, in a windowless room with six other programmers. Again, I sat there and did nothing. At least I didn't have to listen to the slumdogs yapping in Hindi. At that point in my career, I didn't really hate Indians, but I was starting to see a pattern with them. They were obviously tribalistic and nepotistic.

In that windowless room, the woman behind me was a SLUMDOG CUNT. Who knows what she did, but she sure acted like she was God's gift to the world.

One day, the SLUMDOG CUNT was bitching about her teeth, and how she needed a bunch of expensive dental work. She said it would be cheaper for her to fly back to India and get the work done there.

"I heard you can get your teeth worked on right on the street in India, they have these guys the live on the sidewalk, doing dental work," I said.

OMG.

You should have seen her freak out.

"Indian cities are just like New York or any other big city!"

"Really," I said.

"You don't know what you are talking about! India is a "debeloped" country!"

Yeah, right, you stupid SLUMDOG CUNT.

So developed, millions of people eat rats. Young babies die of rabies all the time, because rats eat them alive. Half the population shits in public. Indians dump their trash in public -- it is a way of life. I heard that if you walk down the street, you may get a pile of trash dumped on your head, because INDIANS THROW THEIR TRASH OUT THE WINDOW.

Nice fuckin' place.

Ross Hunter, a retired Microsoft executive and the one of many "Manchurian Candidates" that India, Inc. has planted in America, is a Washington State Representative who is now running for Kings County Executive.




This vile anti-American pig has seen fit to sponsor a bill that would give slumdogs the same tuition as AMERICAN CITIZENS:

"Under House Bill 1487, which takes effect July 1, the foreign workers would qualify for the same tuition rate as state residents if they have been in the state at least a year on certain kinds of temporary work visas, such as the H-1B.

The measure passed amid a roiling budget crisis and hundreds of millions of dollars in cutbacks to higher education. It was nicknamed the "Microsoft subsidy bill" by some lawmakers who say the software giant and its workers surely could afford to pay the higher tuition rates.

Subject to lively legislative debate, the bill received little attention outside the Capitol. An analysis put the immediate tuition revenue loss at the University of Washington at about $430,000, with potential for bigger losses in future years, and about $215,000 at Washington State University.

State Rep. Ross Hunter, D-Medina, the bill's sponsor, retired from Microsoft in 2000 after 17 years. He said employers in his Eastside district sought the provision as a tool for recruiting foreign talent."

http://seattletimes.nwsource.com/html/localnews/2009366983_tuition22m.html

It is time to castrate this corrupt collaborator.

Let me put this in perspective for you. Let's say a Marine comes back from Iraq or Afghanistan and is stationed in Puget Sound. Perhaps he has a Purple Heart.

And let's just say he has a year left in the Corps, and wants to go back to school, say, at the University of Washington. Now, since he is probably not from Washington (very few jarheads are from that state full of liberal pacifist pussies), he has to pay out-of-state-tuition. I know this for a fact, because when I was at Camp Pendleton, I was considered a resident of the state of Texas until I moved off base and established state residency, and only then could I pay in-state-tuition.

But to become a Huskie, it takes just a little bit of cash.

LIKE $24,352.

But RAJ, our booger-farming slumdog, gets to go to UW for $7,677.


The offensive will be simple. All the INSURGENCY has to do is donate $14.87 to his opponent, Dow Constantine, or one of several others running for King County Executive. This will send a message, and money.


Anyway, WashTech was leaked AN INTERNAL MICROSOFT DOCUMENT that laid out the plan to subsidize college tuitions for SLUMDOGS.

“Rep. Ross Hunter pushed through legislation at Microsoft’s behest to extend in-state tuition rates to white collar professionals who are temporarily stationed at Microsoft on corporate visas –at the same time that Washington State lawmakers removed $1.5 billion from education, laidoff 2500 teachers, [and] slashed health care.” – Bright Future Jobs

Bright Future Jobs broke the story of the grassroots campaign – started by techs in Washington state – against Ross Hunter, now running for King County Executive. The campaign is asking everyone to donate $14.87, in protest of HB 1487, to any opponent of Ross Hunter of their choice. You can see the candidates and their websites here. The Primary Election is on August 18.

http://blog.washtech.org/?p=92

I don't give a shit if you are a Democrat, Republican, or Communist. SHOOT THE FUCKING LOCK OFF OF YOUR WALLET AND DONATE $14.87 to one of these people:

• Larry Phillips http://larryphillips.com
• Stan Lippmann http://tinyurl.com/ld6n52
• Alan Lobdell www.alanlobdell.com
• Susan Hutchison www.susanhutchison.com
• Dow Constantine www.dowconstantine.com


Ross "SLUMDOG DICKSUCKER" Hunter MUST BE DEFEATED.

Already, WashTech and IBM Alliance are mobilizing to turn Ross Hunter into another Harris Miller, and pathetic immigration lawyer who got his ass kicked by a great Marine, James Webb.

This post got almost 1,000 responses on Slashdot:

theodp writes "When questioned about his firm's US hiring, Information Week reports that Vineet Nayar, the CEO of the Indian outsourcing giant HCL Technologies, showed he can stereotype with the best of them, telling an audience in NYC that most American tech grads are 'unemployable.' Explaining that Americans are far less willing than students from developing economies like India, China, and Brazil to master the 'boring' details of tech process and methodology, the HCL chief added that most Americans are just too expensive to train. HCL, which was reportedly awarded a secretive $170 million outsourcing contract by Microsoft last April, gets a personal thumbs-up from Steve Ballmer for 'walking the extra mile.' Ballmer was busy last week pitching more H-1B visas as the cure for America's job ills at The National Summit."

http://news.slashdot.org/article.pl?sid=09/06/22/0019233

As is typical of the most arrogant, bigoted culture in the world, they have overreached. Nayar has now incited millions of American techies.

Don't be surprised if the attacks that started in Australia migrate to our shores.

I often reflect on what led me down this path of H-1B bashing. I’ve tracked its origins to one particularly bad experience. From that one episode, every experience thereafter involving H-1Bs, Indians, Desi body shops, Pakis, slumdogs, Infoys, etc., has been colored by that encounter.

My very first incident with an H-1B was not pleasant. It was back during the dot-com boom. I had just finished my first big web project and had made the transition from client-server development to large website work. Business was booming, and I was fielding 3-4 calls a day from recruiters. I figured that once I got Microsoft ASP experience under my belt, I could write my own ticket.

So I jumped at the chance to work for a second-tier I.T. consulting company that was doing a massive website for a global executive recruiting firm. I joined the team of six developers, half FTEs and half contractors.

Of course, it was a death march – the site was supposed to launch in a month and it was nowhere near done. After the first week, one of the account executives managing the project approached me to say that they needed to add some bodies to the team. He wanted to me to do a little preliminary tech screening of some candidates in New Jersey.

Sure, I said, I’d be happy to. After all, I had almost six years in development and pretty much knew my shit. I thought I would just weed out the phonies, and the ones that got past me would get face-to-face interviews with the architects and tech leads.

So he set up the calls and I talked to three guys, the most competent being a man with a pleasant Hindi accent. He was fairly articulate on the phone and answered most of my questions correctly. I recommended him to the client.

The body shop sent someone across country the next day. But this was not the guy that I had talked to on the phone; he was a slobbish Pakistani wearing black sneakers and a cheap suit. They hadn’t even done a face-to-face, just flown him in. He started immediately.

This guy could not speak much English. Plus, he was surly, confused, and utterly worthless. It was the old agency bait-and-switch. My project manager told me to get him up to speed on the project within two weeks and parked him next to my desk . It was a hopeless cause. The guy could barely communicate, much less code. Plus, I had to spend so much time showing him how to do the simplest things, I missed some of my own deliverables.

Man, I really tried. When I noticed that he couldn’t even get his IDE running, I approached one of the Pakistani consultants on site, a really sharp local with his own little development firm, and asked him to talk to the guy; you know, help him out.

“Hey, you speak Punjab, don’t you?” I asked him. (I probably should have said “Punjabi.”)

“Sure,” he said pleasantly.

“Can you have a word with Joban?" I said. "He’s not quite up to speed, and he just fumbles around. I told him to ask if he as any problems, but he refuses to talk to me.”

“No problem, I’ll talk to the chap.”

Later that day, the H-1B comes back to work (we worked literally side-by-side, no cubes, eight of us in a windowless scrum room), and gives me the stink eye. In his broken English, he tells me, in so many words, that if I have a problem, I should take it up with him. I could barely understand him, but his belligerence overcame the language barrier. And that fucking stink-eye; it was like the guy wanted to throw acid in my face.

Speaking of acid, when the burn rate on the project got to be too much, they let me go with half a day's notice. The firm was obligated to give my H-1B friend two week's notice , so he ended up sitting around for a while longer, grimacing, fumbling with some code, and frowning at everybody else on the project until they shipped him back to New Jersey. There he probably sat on the bench, breaking the law until he could scam his way into another gig.

Thus began the hating.